By Shefa Ali
These days we check on each other’s Instagram stories more then we check on each other‘s real life stories. How often do you check in with your friends? Does it make us bad friends if we don’t?
I like to check on my friends regularly. Sometimes it’s just ‘Are you good? Are you happy? How’s your heart? Do you need anything?’
That doesn’t mean that I run down my entire phone book each week and check in with everyone, it’s just a very general way for me to check in with my people.
My rule of thumb is: If someone has crossed my mind and we haven’t interacted recently, I check in with them, so they know I’m thinking of them.
So, what does ‘checking in’ actually look like? Well, it can take a lot of different ways. Which method works for you is going to depend on many factors: the nature of your friendship, your physical proximity to this friend, your own capabilities, your energy level or other factors at a given moment that may be different at another time, etc. What method works with one friend may be very different from what works with another friend, both because their needs and access are different and because your ability to meet those needs is different.
Whether by a phone call, Instagram DM, or otherwise; checking in can be as simple as a short message that says ‘I thought of you and just wanted to say hi,’ ‘You crossed my mind, and I know you’ve been down lately so I wanted to let you know I’m here if you need to talk,’ ‘Hi, so sorry to hear about ___, want you to know I said a prayer for you and I’m sending you good energy,’ or ‘Hey, saw you have an interview later this week and just wanted to wish you well!’ Your friend may or may not respond. They may respond with a simple ‘thank you’ or they may respond asking how you are doing or letting you know they need someone to talk to.
Regardless if you get a reply or not, I think it’s important for us to check on each other’s mental happiness regularly, try it, let me know how it worked out for you.
The author is a consultant and coach. Instagram handle: @miss_shefa, Website: missshefa.com
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